


crashing teeth and criminal tongues

by pensiveVisionary (hamburr)



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Panic Attacks, Sexual Content, Trans Aaron Burr, Trans Character, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, and they were roommates oh my god they were roommates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-16
Updated: 2017-06-16
Packaged: 2018-11-15 00:07:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11219088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hamburr/pseuds/pensiveVisionary
Summary: “Where are you going?”“Oh, wow, why does it matter to you?”





	crashing teeth and criminal tongues

“Where are you going?”

“Oh, wow, why does it matter to you?”

“You come in every night so late it’s early and you expect me not to worry?”

Aaron blows out a slow exhale. “Again: why does it matter to you? You’re awake anyway most of the time, it’s not like I’m waking you up, and either way it’s not like I clatter around like _some_ people do when they slink back in in the middle of the night.” His surname’s homophone seems apt for the icicles dripping from his voice. Alex wonders, not for the first time, why he’d thought being randomly paired with a roommate would be a good idea -- his friends wouldn’t be so angry at him for being concerned, would they?

“I’m just _saying_ , I’m worried about you, like, are you being safe --”

“Jesus _fucking_ Christ, Alexander, do you think I want to contract some sort of -- something? Get knocked up by some random asshole? You think I’m not responsible? I have _just as fucking good_ of a GPA as you, if not better, I’m keeping up with my classes, I’m being _safe_ in my encounters, if you’re going to be up my ass about this you might at least make it pleasurable,” he snaps, and then has the grace to look a little flustered by the last bit, at least.

“Oh?” says Alex, and stands. Aaron lifts his chin -- he’s a few inches shorter than Alex, and resentful -- and meets his eyes, steady, resolute.

“I’m just saying, the only reason you should be in any way, shape, or form thinking about what I do with my body is if you want to be a part of that. So. If you’re so _concerned_ , maybe see if you can make it worth my while for me to hang around here.”

They’re face to face now, Aaron standing still and solid, impeccable posture, head tilted up so his lips are barely inches away from Alex’s. Alex always feels sloppy, messy, downright _scruffy_ compared to Aaron, always impeccably put together Aaron.

“If you’re interested, that is,” Aaron says, voice low, and then they are kissing, openmouthed and _hungry_ , almost angry, Aaron’s hands wound in Alex’s hair and Alex’s hands tight on the small of Aaron’s back.

It does not take long for them to be in Aaron’s bed, barely clothed, Aaron biting at Alex’s neck, Alex’s hand inside Aaron’s boxers, Aaron writhing and cursing as Alex’s fingers work.

“I -- can I -- do you want -- please, I --”

“Only if you have a condom,” Aaron says, his voice tight. “And make me come first, you fuck, I thought you were trying to impress me.”

“I am! Fuck!” Alex says, his voice breaking, and Aaron places a gentle hand at the back of Alex’s neck, rests his cheek against Alex’s.

“Getting there,” Aaron says, his voice barely a whisper. “I -- _oh_ \-- yeah, yeah, like that, fuck --”

His breathing stutters, shuddery exhales against Alex’s neck, and for all his talking and cursing he is absolutely silent when he climaxes, his whole body tensing and releasing, and he stays pressed close to Alex, after, clinging to him just a little more tightly than necessary, until he lays back and Alex gets up to rummage through his desk drawer.

Aaron is quiet as this occurs, and by the time Alex returns, Alex can see that he is shivering.

“Aaron --”

“No, shut up, I’m fine, I’m _fine_ , fuck, just do it, okay?”

“No,” says Alex, and then, horror of all horrors, Aaron bursts flat out into tears. Alex, whispering whatever he can think to say, which is alternately string of reassurances and terrified cursing, rushes around -- thankful he’s still wearing his underwear, to save him some measure of embarrassment -- finding a clean pair of boxers for Aaron, digging his blankets out from where they’ve fallen between the bed and the wall, finding a tissue box, trying to get him cleaned up, and by the time Aaron is safely wrapped in blankets, Alex’s -- particular situation -- has settled down enough to be plenty bearable, and so he sits delicately beside Aaron.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Don’t you want to get off?” Aaron says, his voice a bit too high for him to seem calm, never mind the fact that he’s shaking and occasionally sniffling.

“Never mind that, I’m fine, I’m not controlled by my dick, I can take care of that whenever. Not right now.”

“You look freezing.”

Now that it occurs to Alex, he does realize that he is chilly. He gets up and grabs his comforter from his own bed, then plops back down on Aaron’s, wrapping himself in the blanket. “There.”

Aaron _hmm_ s, but says nothing.

“Are you okay?”

A half-shrug, a half-shake of the head that means ‘no, but whatever,’ except it is obviously not _whatever_.

“Here, come here,” Alex says, and holds out his arm, winged with the blanket, and Aaron tucks himself up next to Alex. Alex can feel him shaking and holds him tighter, and that just makes Aaron push himself closer to Alex, like he wants to bury himself inside of him.

“Do you want to tell me what happened?” Alex asks again.

Aaron shakes his head. “Just… just want to be good. Good enough.”

Alex rubs his back. “You are, for real, honestly, trust me, you are. More than good enough.”

Aaron shrugs. “‘M sorry we had to stop.”

“I’m glad we did. You shouldn’t have to feel like -- like that, like you have to for my sake. I like you without that. I liked you before and I like you now.”

“You do?” Aaron peeks up at Alex, then buries his face back against Alex’s chest.

“Yeah,” says Alex, letting his emotion into his voice. “Yeah, I really do. A lot. I care about you.”

“So that’s why you’re constantly bitching at me.”

Alex laughs, and Aaron does too, softly. “I just -- want you to be okay,” Alex says.

Aaron laughs again, but it’s bitter this time. “Easier said than done.”

“I know. I know that, trust me, I do. But, I mean, I really do care about you, and if you’ll have me around, I’d -- that is, I -- I’ll be here through it all.”

“Thank you,” says Aaron, very softly, barely audible, and then, just as quietly, “I like you too.”

Alex kisses the top of Aaron’s head, and Aaron sighs. Alex can feel some of the tension leave him, and hugs him more tightly.

They do sleep together that night, though not like either of them had planned; instead, they pile all their blankets and pillows onto Aaron’s bed and make the coziest possible blanket nest. Aaron has a ragged old cat stuffed animal that he keeps hidden beneath his blanket, but which he keeps careful track of and, when he lays down, he keeps it next to him. He keeps hold of Alex, though, like he needs to be touching him at all times.

Alex is more than happy to oblige; Aaron is warm and soft and when they bundle under the covers together they are both still shirtless, and the feel of skin on skin is like magic. Aaron sighs and tucks his head beneath Alex’s chin and hooks his leg around Alex’s, for maximum proximity, and Alex holds him there, close and safe, and it doesn’t take long for either of them to fall asleep, holding and being held.

**Author's Note:**

> i can be found on tumblr @hambrr and comments and kudos are the best way to trick me into writing more stuff


End file.
